I’m well aware that President Barack Obama doesn’t think particularly highly of me. After all, I’m a white guy who believes in both the Savior and my Constitutional rights, so he’s got me on both the “God” and the “guns” ends of his political measuring tape. To be fair, Obama hasn’t been particularly shy about expressing his disdain for most of us. According to our man Barry, we “didn’t build that.” Ever since he began hurling slights at the spiritual and Constitutional among us, the man has been waging what amounts to a war of words against virtually everyone to the right of Bill Ayers.
True to form, Obama shared his dim view of us benighted plebes during his jet fuel-gulping world tour to visit Asia, attend the G-20 Summit and get his snorkel on in the tropical Pacific. During a stop in Laos, Obama told the assembled that Americans are “lazy.” Gee thanks, president pal of ours. That reminds me: I think you’re an incompetent boob with a bad tendency to blame everyone else for his own ham-fisted failures. And if the reception you got during what one very charitable CNN pundit called your “valedictory tour” is any indication, the world agrees with me, buddy.
Following the president’s landing in China for the G-20 summit at Hangzhou, the Chinese “misplaced” the airstairs, forcing Obama to deplane through Air Force One’s servants’ entrance. Then a Chinese official and a member of Obama’s retinue engaged in what amounts to a slap-fight over media access at the airport. At no time did the Chinese official display any concern about the fact that the incident was being recorded; a remarkable show of disrespect from the normally-staid Chicoms.
Obama’s nerd-in-the-corner performance at the summit revealed an awkward, intimidated man. At one point our poor commander-in-chief lost a staring contest with Russian President Vladimir Putin and was later photographed looking on in what appeared to be a jealous rage as Putin enjoyed a laugh with Turkish President Erdogan. Given the tensions which have developed between those two countries and ours since Obama hit his “reset button,” their behavior seemed almost cruel; as if they were schoolyard bullies pointing and laughing at the slow kid.
Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte, enraged by Obama’s dismissive attitude over extra-judicial killings in the Philippines, called the Nobel Prize-winning president a “son of a b*tch.” Duterte’s disdain for Obama, though neither new nor a secret, served to remind that not only do the heavyweights look at America like the band geek trying to hang out with the cool kids; the other band geeks don’t want him at their table in the lunchroom anymore, either.
Iran, the world’s top bagman for Islamic terrorism, has managed to stare down Obama into making the United States into one of the world’s top bagmen for Iran. When the Iranian people started making noise about the oppressive Islamofascist regime and their rigged elections, the Ayatollah dropped the hammer. Unfortunately for those masses yearning to breathe free, Obama was on the back nine at Congressional, and couldn’t be bothered to take their call
Even worse, the spooky kid who wears the floor-length trench coat when it’s 80 degrees out has started acting like he’s starring in an evil version of the Gangnam Style video. The Kim family, which stayed in its darkened corner during the Bush Administration, is now making creepy music videos featuring the nuclear destruction of the United States. While their attempts to successfully get their President Bill Clinton-funded nuclear weapons program off the ground have failed, they haven’t failed for lack of trying; they’ve failed because most things the North Koreans “invent” work like the cheap knockoffs they are. Eventually, they’ll either figure it out or buy it from someone who did.
ISIS has risen, Syria has fallen into complete chaos and Islamic terrorism now regularly strikes at the heart of the civilized world, although Obama’s plan to counter it hinges on refusing to acknowledge it exists. His signature domestic achievement is a multi-trillion dollar fraud which has already collapsed under its own weight. And now, a dude who has never faced “work” harder than lifting a copy of Bill Ayers’ memoirs wants the rest of the world to know that he thinks we’re “lazy.” I guess I can live with that sort of presidential slight. After all, Obama has earned his reputation through nearly eight years of globetrotting buffoonery. According to Obama, I’m merely “lazy.” What’s his excuse?
— Ben Crystal